Tips to Improve Female Lubrication A reader struggles to understand why she's having trouble self lubricating and asks our experts for answers. BY DR. JONI FRATER and ESTHER LASTIQUE
There are several ways to help get the vagina aroused to improve lubrication.
“ Other factors that affect arousal and lubrication are hormone levels, stress, diet, sleep, drugs, diet, and lack of exercise.”
I used to get very wet, which is a huge turn on for my spouse, but recently I've slowed down "down there." I feel his touch, but I can’t get wet. What do you think the problem is? And what can I do to get the juices flowing again? Thanks for the help.
Thanks for the important question about female lubrication. So why do women experience a lessening of lubrication? The question is how wet is wet enough? Well, it could be from one of several reasons that we can discuss.
First, let’s take a refresher course about the process of orgasm. The four stages of sexual response are as follows: arousal, plateau, orgasm and resolution. All of these steps have to occur in order to have an orgasm. Understanding that, here is a list of what may be contributing to this problem and what you can do to help resolve the issue:
* Perhaps you are under stress and your ability to self-lubricate is in a low phase. It also happens as we age and it happens periodically throughout life as our hormones rise and fall.
* Have you changed any medications during this phase? Lots of medicines can cause vaginal dryness as a side effect.
* Maybe your sexual activity needs a pick me up! Slow your love-making down and allow for more nonsexual touching, kissing and fondling to enable you to become more fully aroused. Then consider trying to do sexual acts differently in order to keep your love life fresh and your juices flowing. What fantasies might you want to try? How about a new toy or position? Maybe have a night of just oral play for both of you for a change. Kisses all over your body and kissing and stroking two places at one time make for a lot of fabulous stimulation. Don’t forget that you have a lot of erogenous zones that crave attention too.
* Try having him perform oral sex on you before intercourse. Make sure that your clitoral shaft, clitoris, and labia, gets lots of tongue action and find your urethra, which loves a soft tongue touch for increasing your juices. Also, have your partner use his fingers inside you on your G spot at the same time for a possibly amazing G-spot orgasm! Some women can even ejaculate during intense orgasms! Then proceed to intercourse! You should be really wet by then.
* How about your diet? It is hot outside and our diet reflects how our body can respond. Are you eating a healthier diet with lots of fruits and veggies, or are you a meat and starch person? Lower the amount of high cholesterol foods, increase fruits and veggies and drink more water. The cleaner, healthier diet keeps all of your parts moving and your sex life benefits too! Take vitamins, especially zinc which helps with lubrication.
* How often are you having sex? Having sex regularly naturally keeps the juices flowing so keep trying to stay connected and let your body relax and enjoy the wonderful sensations!
Female lubrication starts with hormones telling your brain it is ready to tell your clitoris and vagina that you are getting sexually aroused. The inner and outer lips of the vagina swell and the walls of the vaginal and vaginal lips have little glands (vulvovaginal) that secrete liquid to allow for penetration.
Female arousal usually takes more time than male arousal, so foreplay is crucial. Most women turn on from north to south. In other words, your brain needs to feel sexy so that your body can feel sexy. Other factors that affect arousal and lubrication are hormone levels, stress, diet, sleep, drugs, diet, and lack of exercise.
In order for you to find out where your particular issues are, try to take notes after love making and write down what you did that day, where you are in your menstrual cycle, your diet, stress level, arousal level and your lubrication ability. Try altering your lifestyle as needed to maintain a healthy level of lubrication and arousal so that you can get back on your game. Remember not to take little setbacks so personally because our bodies sometimes have a mind of its own.
Lastly, try using a water-based lubricant for now. It will help to keep you lubricated and make penetration more comfortable. Different lubes have stimulants and flavorings, and can add a new level to your lovemaking sessions. Try something new and different. Sex should never be the same thing every time so have some fun!
Dr. Joni Frater & Esther Lastique are the founders of www.LoveHerRight.com and www.PassionateLifeClub.com and the authors of "Love Her Right: The Married Man’s Guide to Lesbian Secrets for Great Sex!" Visit their college website www.SexEdBootcamp.com for more links and general sex ed information and for more information about their Love Warrior Challenge, live appearances, and seminar classes. At www.LoveHerRightStore.com use the discount code HITCHED for a 15% discount! To purchase their book, please click here (it has lots of great pictures with descriptions of fun positions to try).