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The 6 C's That Make Marriage Easy
Use the six Cís below to grow as a human and to help make your marriage happy and easy!
You're out with a couple of friends having a good timeÖ and your future spouse walked into the room and your heart skipped a beat. Everything around you faded into the background and the only thing that existed was them.
You muster up the courage to introduce yourself and a fairy tale relationship is born. All thatís left is moonlit walks on the beach, rose petals sprinkled around the bedroom and making passionate love each morning as the gentle breeze blows through the windows and the birds sing pleasantly outside.
This's exactly how your marriage has unfolded, isnít it?
What? Itís not?
With the countless resources throughout the internet on dating, attraction, and relationships it can appear that lasting marriages are difficult to find and make happen.
Iíll let you in on a secretóI believe itís designed that way!
I shall explain. I believe marriage (or committed relationship, but for this article Iíll use the term marriage) is designed to grow us up into better humans.
Marriage is not about being happy, itís about growing into a better person.
With this idea in mind, hereís six C's that will help make your marriage easier:
1. Chemistry: There must be some sort of connection between the two people. Similar interests, goals, dreams, etc. While this is not a necessity, it does provide a foundation for many things in marriage, such as travel, vacations, hobbies and outside commitments both separately and together. Take heart and know that if you didnít have chemistry, the relationship will be short livedóso those of you who think you now have nothing in common with your spouse after many years of marriage, look again, because itís probably there.
2. Comedy: Humor is an outstanding reparative aspect for marriage, as well as a great connector. Having the ability to laugh with your spouse, whether this laughter is at something external or about yourself and your relationship, laughter really is good medicine.
3. Communication: Hereís another little secret for marriage, communication occurs all the time. In fact, you can not, not communicate (I realize all the English majors are cringing at the double negative, but the point is important). Everything you say and donít say communicates something. Everything you do or donít do says something as well. Communication problems in marriage donít occur because you canít communicate, they happen because you donít like the message! In order to master this area of marriage shift your focus to learning how to handle the message.
4. Commitment: A key ingredient to any marriage is commitment. Without it, marriages fall apart. Incidentally, want to know the secret to a lasting marriage? Two people who choose to stay married. Thatís it. Make the choice to stick it out through the rough spots. I once heard a guy say, "My marriage isnít worth fighting for." The response I heard from his friend in return "Thatís because you havenít fought for it. Somethingís only worth fighting for after youíve fought for it." Truer words are rarely spoken.
5. Cycles of relationships: There are natural rhythms in every relationship. The simple fact is we, as people, ebb and flowóand we seldom do this in synchrony with those close to us, yet we seem to believe we should. Did you realize that the most synchronous human relationship, between mother and infant, is only in synchrony one third of the time? Cut both of you some slack when things just seem "off" between you. Take the time to work on your contribution to the relationship rather than worrying about your spouse's side of the equation.
6. Celestial connections: For myself, this point speaks about God, but it applies to other spiritual aspects as well. I think most people believe there is a spiritual nature around usóan interconnectedness. Ignoring this idea in relationships can lead to missing out on a lot in marriage. This connection often leads to serving one another and generally being kind to those around you.
When you increase your awareness of the "Cís" in marriage, you increase the potential of the relationshipóboth for you and your spouse.
Dr. Corey Allan is a laid back guy who writes at Simple Marriage and counsels people on how to have better relationships. Heíll teach you how to get along with others, play nice, get more of what you want and enjoy giving back. He might even help you get more sex out of the deal, too!
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