Eliminate Complaints and Improve Your Life You can become happier and feel more fulfilled as long as you follow this simple guide and remove complaining from your everyday life. BY CHRIS NANNI AND KATIE VANNIER
If you want to see the brilliance of life you have to rise above the trivial negatives.
“ You don't always know the facts and jumping to angry conclusions is not helpful.”
We are all guilty of it. The waiter hasn't refilled your water glass, the bus is running late, or you spilled your coffee. Whatever it is, we find ways to complain about it. We joke about our First World problems, but constantly complaining about little things can become a serious problem and it needs to stop!
See how complaining is no good for your mental health and what you can do to change that behavior starting now!
What Complaining Does
It breeds negativity. Why would you want to discuss your inept waiter for 30 minutes? When you start complaining your brain starts looking for more and more things to complain about. You create a snowball effect and before you know it you are in a bad mood and surrounded by negative feelings.
It doesn't accomplish anything. You become the boy who cried wolf. If you complain about everything, the one time you really do need help or are in trouble, people are less likely to listen. If there is always something wrong, then people won't know when you are actually in need of their support. When all your Facebook statuses say "worst day ever," people will stop asking if you are okay.
It creates blame. If you complain a lot, you start directing your annoyance or anger at people who do not always deserve it. Yes the waitress hasn't refilled your water, but maybe she is covering for someone else who called in sick. It is not her fault and your negativity is not helping you feel better or her get her work done faster. You don't always know the facts and jumping to angry conclusions is not helpful.
It's just simply annoying. Who wants to hang out with someone who is constantly being a Debbie Downer. You create a negative cloud around your head that people will slowly start to recognize and stay away from.
How To Stop Complaining
Recognize it. Take a moment in the next few days to be aware of all the times you start complaining about insignificant things. Try and become aware of how your complaints affect your emotions and if they create negative emotions. Becoming aware of all the negativity you create in your own life will make it easier to start changing that behavior into something more positive.
Take action. If you're complaining about the bad weather, there isn't much you can do, but there are many situations you may complain about that are totally under your control. Assess the situation and see if there is an action you are willing to take to fix the problem. If there is then do it! If there is but you don't want to take action then you have no right to complain anymore. And finally, if it is out of your control, then there is nothing to be done, so no reason to complain.
Don't join in. It is so easy to get sucked into the negativity hurricane. Were you super happy with your waiters service until your friends started talking about how he didn't smile and he had to come back to verify an order? Suddenly you notice your table is wobbly and there is too much sage in your dish and you are never coming back to this restaurant ever again. Why turn a happy evening out with your friends into a bad night. Don't surround yourself with negative people who complain constantly, it will only bring you down.
See the positive. This is where you start becoming a pro and turning negatives into positives! Sucks that it's raining, but the flowers are going to look beautiful tomorrow. Your bus is late, but it gave you a chance to catch up on some reading you have been dying to do. There is a light side to every dark side so practice becoming more aware of those positives in your daily life. Eventually it will become automatic and make you less likely to even see the negative things you had been complaining about. Try out this Little Loving Things Exercise to start recognizing all the amazing things around you!
Become a positivity catalyst. Before you know it your friends will be asking why you're so happy all the time and how you always manage to be so positive. Your shining light will radiate to others and people around you will start smiling more too . Positivity, just like negativity, is contagious.
Chris and Katie are the Love Tripper's www.lovetripping.com. They have been together for over 9 years, and got married in April 2014. They believe that the key to a healthy long-lasting relationship is constant work and effort. The Love Tripper's share their advice on how to keep that sexy fire burning, avoiding pointless arguments, and finding a deeper love for your partner every day. Love is a trip, enjoy the ride!