When a couple has been married for a long time, romance somehow takes a back seat to the many tasks and responsibilities each one has to take care of every day. Before you were married, your sweet date nights that used to be candle lit romantic dinners become sleepless nights caring for the baby. Your fun movie dates turn into watching TV at home and then falling fast asleep because you are both too tired to watch. Even sex, if you still do it, becomes rote and obligatory. Does this all sound familiar to you?
Many couples have fallen into this trap where they begin to think romance is only for single people and sex is only fun outside of marriage. This is not true. Couples should learn to keep sex and romance alive in their relationship so none of them would feel neglected and tempted to cheat.
But how? Let me guide you on how you can squeeze in these two very important aspects of your marriage to your weekly schedule.
This may sound out of the topic, but maintaining a healthy body is actually very important for both husband and wife to have the energy to perform well in bed. You do not have to make really big changes to do this. Here are some things that can give you a healthier body.
* Drink lots of water: our body needs water for it to function fully.
* Get enough sleep: the body can only recharge and repair itself when you are asleep, so do not deprive yourself of this chance to get energized.
* Start eating right: You do not have to go on a strict diet. Just make the right food choices. Eat less fatty foods like red meat, sweets and pastries. Go for more fruits, vegetables and lean meats.
* Exercise at least 30 minutes a day. Why not go jogging with your spouse or take the time to do a few jumping jacks together? That would be a good bonding time for the two of you and also a great way to stay in shape.
If you do all these, you will no longer feel sluggish and tired at the end of the day. You will definitely look better and feel sexier. Most importantly, you will have more energy to do a lot more within the day, like taking time to be alone and make love to your partner.
“It is important for both husband and wife to feel secure and to know their spouse still has love and desire him or her.”
Flirt With Your Spouse
Revive the romance in your relationship by flirting with your spouse. Do not assume your partner already knows how you feel about him or her. It is important for both husband and wife to feel secure and to know their spouse still has love and desire him or her. When you have the chance, flirt with your spouse the way you did when you were still dating. Send sensual messages to each other through text or chat within the day. And of course, take the time to laugh and tease with each other. Always remind each other why you chose to be together in the first place.
Set a date night for you and your spouse at least once a week. Get a baby sitter or leave the kids with your in-laws for one night and take the time to do something you both love doing together. By doing this, you get your much needed alone time with your spouse and you also have something to look forward to for the next week—and anticipation is also good for marriage.
Focus On the Little Things
Things may not be as romantic as they used to be since you got married, but you can still let your spouse know you care with little gestures of love. A wife can ask her husband how his day was and listen to his stories even if she does not understand half of what he is saying. A husband can compliment his wife’s cooking or help her wash the dishes while they talk about their day. You can give your spouse a tight squeeze just because you feel like it. These little gestures and moments may not be lengthy, but are very romantic. If done consistently, they have a great impact in strengthening your marriage.
Malini Bhatia is the founder of Marriage.com, a website dedicated to providing value in every marriage. Marriage.com provides resources, information and a community that supports healthy, happy marriages. Malini has global experience in international management and communications, and lives in Los Angeles with her husband of 11 years and two daughters.