Sex Q&A: Husband Uninterested in Sex and Fading Romance A wife asks Dr. Read why her husband has stopped wanting sex and what it might mean. BY DR. TRINA READ
If a husband's behavior suddenly changes, there's a reason that needs to be addressed before moving forward.
“ Any man who enjoyed sex three to four times a week and sudden stops has a good reason to cut himself off.”
Sex and relationship expert, Dr. Trina Read, is ready to answer your questions.
My husband and I have been together for three years and lately he doesnít want sex at all. Before we were having sex three to four times a week. Iíve tried making the moves but he just rolls over or ignores me.
Many times in life our behaviors say what our mouths cannot. By not speaking, plus cutting the emotional bond, and no physical touch your husband is practically "screaming" that something is wrong.
Any man who enjoyed sex three to four times a week and sudden stops has a good reason to cut himself off. Iím sorry to say that his abrupt behavior change is telling you he wants distance and less connection with you.
You need to ask yourself why he is acting this way. Does he feel pressure to have a baby with you? Is he getting sex elsewhere? Is there another person? Has there been a huge event happen in his family that may have impacted him?
In any case, chances are he is treating you this way so you end the relationship because he canít, or so he doesnít have to. Either way the result is the same. To move forward you need to make him feel safe to open up and explain why he is creating this distance.
Great Sex Tip: Donít think this situation is in any way your fault. His behavior is not because of you and there is likely little to nothing you can do to change his behavior without understanding what is causing it.
My husband used to be so romantic. Now thereís nothing. How do I get him to be interested in treating me romantically again?
Hereís the good news. A recent study conducted at the University of New Brunswick showed that men may be just as hard-wired for romance as women.
Even more surprising, the same research indicated that both men and women preferred romance over sex. (Iíll let you pick yourself off the floor before we move on.)
The not so good news is, it has been ingrained in us since the moment we exited the womb that men look for sex and find love while women look for love and find sex.
So, it would seem our socialization often wins out over our genetics.
As romance is important, itís time to have a frank talk with your husband. Be sure to have specific ideas about what you would like him to do. I know you want him to surprise you and that telling him seems, well, unromantic. However, unless he knows heís not going to do what you want.
Perhaps in the future when romance has once again become a habit and priority he will surprise you.
Great Sex Tip:Pennsylvania State University determined that men fall in love quicker and take longer to fall out of love when compared to women. In fact, men were three times more likely to declare their love before women.
Dr. Trina Read is the founder of VivaXO.com; a leading relationship and sexual health expert and educator; and is a best selling author, media expert, syndicated blogger, international speaker, magazine columnist, and spokeswoman. Trina has just launched Sensual Tastes Events, an interactive workshop blending the pleasures of food and sex education. Follow her on Twitter and Facebook.