Healthy vs. Unhealthy Compromises for a Better Marriage There are many things in your marriage you'll need to negotiate, other items should not. Here are 7 to consider. BY BRITTANY WREN
Being happily married means coming to many healthy compromises.
“ Compromises should never feel like sacrifices.”
If you’re in a relationship, there will come a time when you need to make a compromise. After all, you can’t be in a relationship strictly on your own terms. However, compromise isn’t always easy. Here are the healthy and unhealthy accommodations we make for our significant others.
Can’t decide what’s for dinner? Come to a compromise. A simple way to do this is by splitting up the weekday dinners evenly. She gets to choose what to cook on three days, he's also in charge of meals for three days. For that last remaining day, dine out.
He likes the theater, she likes movies. When the weekend arrives and it comes time to plan date night, choose an activity that both parties in the relationship can agree on. A good compromise for this conundrum is to see a movie-turned-theater show. There’s plenty of shows to choose from, and tickets can be purchased online and also at a discount.
How you spend your money can be a heated topic in any relationship. Married couples will need to come to a few compromises concerning money. Who will take charge of the finances? How much leisure money is there available to spend? Getting on the same page about financial goals—saving and spending is key to a healthy marriage. And if that means you have to forgo your designer shoe habit, so be it.
Household chores, taking the dog for a walk, dropping of the kids at school; there may come a time when you need to make compromises or pick up the slack for your significant other. She might have an important work meeting early in the morning that requires some prep work, so he might have to drop the kids off at school. He may be stuck in traffic, so she may need to take the dog for a walk. These day-to-day responsibilities may not seem to be big compromises, but they are compromises nonetheless.
Your Career and Dreams
Compromises should never feel like sacrifices. In a relationship you should never have to give up your career and dreams. If your spouse is pressuring you to do so, this is a red flag and you should have a serious conversation about how important your dreams and career goals are.
Your Family, Friends and Other Relationships
Family is important. If your significant other doesn’t like your family or is trying to pull you away from them, there are some serious issues you need to hash-out stat. Family, friends and important relationships should never be compromised—and a good husband or wife would never ask you to do so.
Your Core Values and Beliefs
No couple completely agrees on every single issue, whether it’s political or religious. Just because you have different beliefs does not mean that one of you has to change your way of thinking and living. You don’t have to agree on everything. A spirited debate is healthy now and then.
Brittany Wren is a freelance writer living in Nebraska. She’s all about travel, coffee, board games, and good poems.