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5 Secret Things Men Need from WomenThere are stereotypes that men are expected to live up to. Ladies, you can help break those down within your own home.
Andre Furtado
Men may act like nothing phases them, but they need appreciation and acknowledgement too.
“ Give your man the space to do just that and he will give you his love and loyalty in return.”
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I admit it. I feel a little sorry for men sometimes. Even now, in the 21st century, cultural conditioning has led them to believe they must fit into certain boxes of masculinity. Boxes that tell them things like, "Be a man" and "Women like tough guys" and "Suck it up."
In other words, men are taught to suppress their feelings, never be insecure, walk with confidence and swagger, and not EVER cry. Doesn’t that sound a bit harsh? Not to mention unfair. I think so.
I also think men need our feminine energy now more than ever. Our openness and empathy can help them let down their guard and release everything they have bottled up inside—and they need that! You can use this knowledge to make yourself irresistible. Here’s what you need to know.
He wants you to like him for everything he is, not everything he has. Acknowledge that you understand the pressure he’s under to provide. Know that he has a deep desire to be loved for things other than the material, and make sure you mention to him the non-material ways he fulfills you: emotionally, sexually, romantically—the list is vast. Remember, men want you to validate that their efforts are seen and appreciated. Just like women, men like compliments too. Just like women, they want to know that they are satisfying you. They won’t ask for this reinforcement, but if you give it, it will be returned to you a hundred times over. He will do more and give more of himself when he knows it makes a difference.
Men have a natural need to please you. The stumbling block comes because men and women tend to value different things. Sometimes, what men do for women goes unnoticed or not commented upon because the action isn’t something women value. For instance, when was the last time you went gaga over your man cleaning your car? Take note of the things he does for you, even if you don’t think it’s a big deal. Even something as simple as commenting positively on their choice of restaurants is enough. Men love to hear that they did a great job!
Let him lead as often as you can. When a decision needs to be made, but the outcome isn’t really important to you, this is the perfect time to say "yes" to whatever he decides. Learn to surrender to his masculine side. I know this sounds wrong, but it’s actually a way to lean more into your feminine side, giving him a chance to take care of you the best way he knows how. A great example is if you’re planning a romantic getaway. All you care about is being with him and that there is a quiet beach. After that, let his imagination run wild! This is a fun and healthy way to let his masculinity take charge. (An unhealthy version of this is, for instance, letting him decide who your friends are, or when you can see your family... or other things of that nature. Your gut will know the difference!)
Give him permission to express how he’s feeling. You are his safe place to fall. When something bad happens in his life that makes him cry, it’s imperative you let him experience these emotions. The best thing you can do for him is to hold him, and afterward kiss him passionately to let him know he’s still your man, attractive and masculine.
He wants you to meet him where he is, even if you’re not totally into it. This isn’t about subjects like marriage or children if you’re not ready. Think instead of a guy who loves golf. He comes home with a new, super-expensive driver that is supposed to improve his game dramatically. Instead of lecturing him about the expense and what will happen if his game doesn't improve, etc., you want to be excited with him and tell him you can’t wait to see his next scorecard! Please note: this tip doesn’t mean you lose yourself in his hobbies…you can be supportive of his interests while still tending to your own—men find this attractive, too. And this also doesn't allow him to destroy a budget you've agreed upon.
When it comes down to it, men and women are not really that different. We all have the same basic human needs to feel loved and appreciated, to express ourselves and our feelings. Give your man the space to do just that and he will give you his love and loyalty in return.
Jaki Sabourin was voted “Best Female Relationship Expert” by her peers and is a Coach, Speaker, Author and CEO of Engaged at Any Age, a company that helps women consciously create the man of their dreams. Her wit and no-nonsense attitude has led to hundreds of clients meeting their ideal man. She married her Soulmate at 50. Follow her on YouTube at Engaged at Any Age, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. Take the SoulmateIQ & For more information: www.EngagedatAnyAge.com.
In other words, men are taught to suppress their feelings, never be insecure, walk with confidence and swagger, and not EVER cry. Doesn’t that sound a bit harsh? Not to mention unfair. I think so.
I also think men need our feminine energy now more than ever. Our openness and empathy can help them let down their guard and release everything they have bottled up inside—and they need that! You can use this knowledge to make yourself irresistible. Here’s what you need to know.
He wants you to like him for everything he is, not everything he has. Acknowledge that you understand the pressure he’s under to provide. Know that he has a deep desire to be loved for things other than the material, and make sure you mention to him the non-material ways he fulfills you: emotionally, sexually, romantically—the list is vast. Remember, men want you to validate that their efforts are seen and appreciated. Just like women, men like compliments too. Just like women, they want to know that they are satisfying you. They won’t ask for this reinforcement, but if you give it, it will be returned to you a hundred times over. He will do more and give more of himself when he knows it makes a difference.
Men have a natural need to please you. The stumbling block comes because men and women tend to value different things. Sometimes, what men do for women goes unnoticed or not commented upon because the action isn’t something women value. For instance, when was the last time you went gaga over your man cleaning your car? Take note of the things he does for you, even if you don’t think it’s a big deal. Even something as simple as commenting positively on their choice of restaurants is enough. Men love to hear that they did a great job!
Let him lead as often as you can. When a decision needs to be made, but the outcome isn’t really important to you, this is the perfect time to say "yes" to whatever he decides. Learn to surrender to his masculine side. I know this sounds wrong, but it’s actually a way to lean more into your feminine side, giving him a chance to take care of you the best way he knows how. A great example is if you’re planning a romantic getaway. All you care about is being with him and that there is a quiet beach. After that, let his imagination run wild! This is a fun and healthy way to let his masculinity take charge. (An unhealthy version of this is, for instance, letting him decide who your friends are, or when you can see your family... or other things of that nature. Your gut will know the difference!)
Give him permission to express how he’s feeling. You are his safe place to fall. When something bad happens in his life that makes him cry, it’s imperative you let him experience these emotions. The best thing you can do for him is to hold him, and afterward kiss him passionately to let him know he’s still your man, attractive and masculine.
He wants you to meet him where he is, even if you’re not totally into it. This isn’t about subjects like marriage or children if you’re not ready. Think instead of a guy who loves golf. He comes home with a new, super-expensive driver that is supposed to improve his game dramatically. Instead of lecturing him about the expense and what will happen if his game doesn't improve, etc., you want to be excited with him and tell him you can’t wait to see his next scorecard! Please note: this tip doesn’t mean you lose yourself in his hobbies…you can be supportive of his interests while still tending to your own—men find this attractive, too. And this also doesn't allow him to destroy a budget you've agreed upon.
When it comes down to it, men and women are not really that different. We all have the same basic human needs to feel loved and appreciated, to express ourselves and our feelings. Give your man the space to do just that and he will give you his love and loyalty in return.
Jaki Sabourin was voted “Best Female Relationship Expert” by her peers and is a Coach, Speaker, Author and CEO of Engaged at Any Age, a company that helps women consciously create the man of their dreams. Her wit and no-nonsense attitude has led to hundreds of clients meeting their ideal man. She married her Soulmate at 50. Follow her on YouTube at Engaged at Any Age, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. Take the SoulmateIQ & For more information: www.EngagedatAnyAge.com.
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