Lifting the Mystery (Part 5) Finding closure in one’s sexuality. BY WENDY STRGAR
Sexuality doesn't have to be a mystery.
"Sex-positive," a term that's coming into cultural awareness, isn't a dippy love-child celebration of orgone—it's a simple yet radical affirmation that we each grow our own passions on a different medium; instead of having two or three or even half a dozen sexual orientations, we should be thinking in terms of millions.
~Dr. Carol Queen
Orgasm is a product of a sexually healthy lifestyle, and sexual health is derived from positive sexual education. Imagine if we believed that we all had a basic right to sexual health and instead of shame and fear-based explanations of sexuality, which mostly focus on avoiding sexuality, we were all privileged to a comprehensive sexual education which was both non-judgmental and focused on the life-enhancing aspects of human sexuality. Imagine if we grew up believing that pleasure was a normal and a healthy part of maturing—the world could not stay the same.
The term "sex-positive" has been floating around since the early 80's and developed in response to the anti-porn feminist movement. This idea tried to make a space for respecting and creating healthy sexual identities and relationships. Working to redefine our culture that makes us fearful and ignorant about sexuality is a process of education and intent. It means that by going beyond the limited view of "normal" and recognizing our sexual prejudices for what they are, much as one would work toward an awareness of racism, disability-phobia, or other forms of systemic prejudice, we can influences our judgments and our actions.
Many companies have adopted the term sex-positive to differentiate themselves and to emphasize their belief in providing the products, education and resources to create a healthy sexual society for everyone. They serve as reminders and inspiration for all of us as we continue the steep climb out of the sexual Dark Ages as governments, including our own, continue to legislate our sexuality and morality.
Sex is something you do, sexuality is something you are… These words by Anna Freud have yet to be integrated into our sexual education to help us move beyond the compartmentalizing of our sexual selves. Establishing healthy boundaries around our sexuality is different from the prisons we build for ourselves by continuously denying our sexual longings and feeling ashamed about our sexual identities. Unlocking the door between who we are and what we choose for our sex lives is fundamental to building a life that includes intimate pleasure.
Take the opportunity to re-educate yourself about what healthy sexuality means to you and decide what you want your children to know about their own sexual development. Build a curriculum for yourself and the people you love that allow you to expand your ideas about your sexuality and experience this pleasure without shame. We are sexual beings, and this instinctive procreative urge has the power to transform all aspects of our health.
Feeling your sexiness in not only through your body, but your mind and spirit. This will open up your bedroom experiences and make you feel more beautiful as you walk down the street. Allowing your sexuality to penetrate your personality and add color to your daily life will not only enhance the days, but may well bring the power of your whole self into focus. Giving yourself permission to witness and interact with the world through your sexuality is the first step in understanding the depth and connections that live in us between our physical, psychological and spiritual experience of sexual selves.
Wendy Strgar is the founder of GoodCleanLove.com, which provides products and advice for sustainable love. If you have questions about products or toys send them in and Wendy will be happy to share her knowledge. When visiting the website, use coupon code NEWSITE08, to enjoy a new year 15 percent discount.