Avoiding a Holiday Sex Slump These tips will help you get closer than ever this holiday season. BY PATTY BRISBEN
Don't let the holidays be the Grinch to your sex life.
“ It’s when we stop trying that we often fall into slumps or ruts that keep us physically distant.”
This time of year can be stressful for a number of reasons. As a result, many couples experience more of a sex slump during the holidays than any other time of year. The reasons for the slump can be a result of factors like anxiety over holiday shopping and bills, family visits and weight gain. Here are several tips for avoiding a sex slump, as well as how to get the romance back after the holiday stress is behind you.
5 Tips for avoiding a sex slump during the holidays.
1. In my book, Pure Romance Between the Sheets, I spent some time discussing the effects of different types of food on the libido; this is something especially important to watch over the holidays when many of us often overeat. People tend to be emotional eaters and the holidays are without a doubt an emotional time—better to stock your shelves with some healthy snacks to choose from. Try healthy foods that boost your libido like bananas, celery, avocado, asparagus, basil, figs, pumpkin seeds and garlic.
2. Commit to one date a week throughout the holiday season—even if it means getting a babysitter or dropping the kids off at the grandparents’ house. No excuses!
3. Creativity has long been linked with sexual appetite; share a creative project with your main squeeze, like making personalized ornaments, baking holiday cookies, cooking a romantic meal with one another or decorating the Christmas tree. Even a small project like decorating a tree comes with challenges (making sure it doesn’t lean, the lights are working, etc.); believe it or not, it can often spark romance to take on a task and work through all the quirks together. You’ll both benefit from feelings of teamwork when you’re able to take a look at the final results of something you took on and accomplished together.
4. Engage in a childlike or lighthearted activity—like building a snowman, going sledding or even going to an indoor (or outdoor) water park—it will take you back to playful more carefree times where you weren’t as bogged down with the mortgage and the daily grind. Many cities also offer romantic horse-driven carriage rides where you can look at the city lights and not be bothered with the outside world.
5. If you live in a cold climate, take a hot shower or bath at night with your partner to warm up and de-stress from the day.
4 Tips to get the romance back after the holiday stress is behind you.
1. Get active! Exercise releases endorphins that make you feel giddy, healthier and sexier—so go ice skating, take a ski trip with just the two of you or hit the gym together. If you live in a warmer climate, go for a hike out in nature. Whatever you decide, the effects of being active will not only help both of you get fit, it will also make you say, "I look great!" and there’s no better aphrodisiac than a little self confidence.
2. Make an effort to do the little things for your partner. A recent study showed that 83 percent of couples held hands while out in the beginning of their marriage versus only 38 percent after a decade together. Compliments, surprise notes, thoughtful gifts or gestures can go a long way to keeping you feeling close and connected. So make a New Year’s resolution to change any complacent or negative patterns and become a better, more supportive partner in the years to come.
3. This leads to another New Year’s resolution—have more sex! Making an effort to be intimate can be very rewarding because often times getting physical with your partner brings about even more desire to re-connect frequently in the future. It’s when we stop trying that we often fall into slumps or ruts that keep us physically distant.
4. For those of us who live in the colder climates we often deal with sky-high energy bills; why not crank it down a little after the holidays and use it as an excuse to get even closer as you snuggle up under the covers!
Patty Brisben, is the CEO and Founder of Pure Romance www.pureromance.com. For more than two decades, Patty has been educating and empowering women all over the country about sexual health and relationship enhancement. Today, Patty speaks, lectures and writes about a wide range of issues such as boosting sexual confidence, discovering self-empowerment through sexual awareness, and learning how to put a spark back into lifeless relationships. Drawing from extensive research in the industry and using her warm and engaging personality, Patty has become a noted expert in the fields of intimacy and relationships. Patty has been quoted in several magazines including Self, Women's Health, Glamour, Redbook, Men's Health, Details, US Weekly, In Touch and Life & Style.