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Guidelines for Guys: What is Sexy Lingerie?
Finally, some guidelines for making the right choices for you honey.

Black is always a good choice when picking lingerie.

Chances are the T-shirt and shorts your wife wears to bed are comfy, but certainly not sexy. A friend of mine once told me that his now ex-wife used to sleep in turtlenecks. Okay, I think we all agree that’s not sexy lingerie. A girlfriend of mine bought a chopper bra to wear on her husband’s birthday. The next day she squealed with delight as she recounted his reaction. Clearly, that was sexy lingerie for him. Her husband, in kind, surprised her by wearing a thong for her on her birthday. She did not find it sexy at all! The first lesson in lingerie is that what's sexy is in the eye of the beholder.

One person can find a garment like crotchless panties sexy while someone else will find them disgusting. One may find sheer lingerie sexy while another prefers lace. So, how does a husband navigate this sexy lingerie minefield when trying to buy their wife a sexy piece of lingerie? Here are a few guidelines.

First, black is always safe. The color is sexy, but also slimming. Everyone feels good in black. Next, err on the more conservative side with your first purchase. Don’t start with chopper bras and crotchless panties.

Begin with a sexy yet pretty negligee with lace and matching panties. Float that balloon first. Based on the reaction and feedback, you can move up the risqué meter to more sheer and more revealing items. And, of course, there are costumes, but that should come later.

What to Look for When Shopping
It’s a lot easier if you know her sizes. If you don’t, take a look in her lingerie drawer and check the label on a bra—the size should be right there—34B, 38DD, something like that. Panties are in sizes usually from XS through XXL. Sometimes they’re numerical, ranging from about 5-10. You might also take a peak at brand names—especially on items she wears all the time.

Now you’ve got the critical info—what to buy? Well, if you see quite a few of the same brand, you can take it up a notch and choose a luxury item in that brand. Or, how about buying her something you know she won’t buy for herself? Some suggest that thongs are the most comfortable panties ever, but some women won’t even try them. Let her try them out on your dime.

If you absolutely can’t find her sizes, you’ve got a few choices: guess and hope for the best, ask her outright, or buy something not quite as dependent on fit, like a silk nightgown or slinky robe.

Of course you’d like something you want to see her in, but if it’s too gimmicky or plain uncomfortable she’ll might wear it for you, but it won’t leave the drawer more than a few times a year—and that's probably being generous. The key is to choose something that’ll let her know you think she’s special, but will also be comfortable for her. Many women are so hung up about body image that they don’t realize that, to the men who love them, they are hot, hot, hot. So if you bought her a blender for the holidays or her birthday, this is the time to go all out and show her how she looks in your eyes.

Tomima Edmark is an entrepreneur with a series of unconventional successes. As the creator of www.HerRoom.com, a lingerie website for women, and the inventor of the successful TopsyTail hair accessory, she has fine-tuned the lingerie business to offer women high quality, good design, comfort, fit and value. Tomima has been featured on Good Morning America and Oprah and in Forbes Magazine and The Wall Street Journal. Visit her blog at www.Tomima.com. Follow Tomima on Twitter for daily tips.

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Over 1 million couples turn to Hitched for expert marital advice every year. Sign up now for our newsletter & get exclusive weekly content that will entertain, educate and inspire your marriage.

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