How To Avoid the Post-Wedding Blues Leave the wedding behind and focus on the key elements of a happy marriage from the start. BY ROBBIN MONETERO
The wedding was great, but now it's time to write the "happily ever after" chapters.
For months, planning the perfect wedding was constantly on your mind and nearly consumed you. Now you’ve returned from the honeymoon and can look back to see it was all perfect. Life with your new spouse seems to be going well, but you can’t explain the confusing feelings of depression you are experiencing. How can this happen when you are supposed to be happy?
You may be surprised to learn that post-wedding blues are common for brides and even for mothers of the bride, especially if the mother was heavily involved in planning the wedding. Why otherwise content brides experience this blue period following their wedding isn’t entirely known, but here are some thoughts for preventing or overcoming it:
* Realize you’ve been through an intense period where the focus has been on romance. You are now in normal life mode, but that doesn’t mean romance has to end. Plan a romantic evening with your new spouse, perhaps for your first month anniversary. A nice dinner, along with a good bottle of wine or champagne—especially a champagne served at the wedding—candles and your favorite music complete the mood. Thaw your wedding cake top to enjoy that evening. Or, arrange a weekend getaway and bring CDs of your special songs to enjoy during the ride.
Planned special occasions like these allow you to step out of everyday life to focus on each other and recall the romance of your wedding and honeymoon. You will never tire of periodically revisiting the romance of your wedding and honeymoon.
* Throw a post-wedding BBQ or cocktail party for immediate family members and select friends when your wedding pictures and video are ready. Show the video and hand out photos from the wedding. For fun, have each person write or tell a fun story related to the time before or after the wedding or even the wedding day—something they personally experienced or observed. Family gatherings, tuxedo fittings and other wedding preparations have long been a source of great humorous recollections. Let everyone who will attend this party in advance; you want them to prepare a written or oral story to present. Expect some will be hysterical and others will be touching. You’re sure to discover great anecdotes of which you had no idea. What a nice way to look back with the people who will continue to be important in your new life.
* Plan ahead to create a wedding time capsule. Make arrangements to save, or have someone save for you, a newspaper from the day you were married, an invitation, place cards, table cards, a wedding favor, RSVP cards and even those cute stories or sayings from your post-wedding party. Add a CD from your first dance, a flower from your bouquet and a photo–any memento that will stir your senses and emotion. Include private notes exchanged between you and your spouse. Better yet, enclose sealed notes you’ve never read. Make a private ceremony with your spouse of sealing these items in a beautiful and sturdy container to be kept in a safe place for ten, fifteen or even twenty-five years—whenever you agree to open it. Keep it visible on a shelf so your wedding memory box can be a constant reminder of the many romantic moments to treasure that still lie ahead in your life together. Opening it will be a wonderful celebration; it also makes a lovely collection to pass down to children.
Day-to-day life cannot realistically be as glamorous as the wedding day—remember how much that cost? Working together toward common goals and supporting each other is what brings couples closer. Above all, remember that each couple has daily opportunities to demonstrate to each other how much they are cherished.
"Stress free, leave the details to me," is the tried and true philosophy of Robbin Montero, California Wine Country wedding planning expert and owner of A Dream Wedding. Robbin is the premier wedding planner in the Northern California Wine Country, transforming any vision into the perfectly designed wedding creation. Robbin and her weddings have been featured in The Knot, Brides, Elite Magazine, Your Wedding Day and Vine Napa/Sonoma magazines, and ImportantOccasions.com. Travel & Leisure magazine calls Robbin, "The expert wedding planner in the California Wine Country." For more information visit www.a-dreamwedding.com or call