I'm still not sure if it’s the chicken or the egg, but I think I’m safe to answer that we all started off as a couple first before the little one(s) showed up.

There is no question that children will completely change the marriage. We all know this going into it (or at least we should). So, it probably would be a good idea to discuss how you are going to keep the flame burning for the two of you once (or now) that the kids have arrived.