Sex
the sexpert
5 Ways to Create Romance for Valentine’s Day
Create a memorable Valentine’s Day this year by giving your partner the gift of you.

I used to be a cynic of Valentine’s Day. A cash grab day of cheesy gifts and mediocre service by overburdened workers. I certainly don’t want to sound ungrateful to past loves that made a romantic day solely for my pleasure. But their sincere efforts always felt contrived, like they were forced into it by guilt.

Now married for several years I’ve had to reevaluate my crotchety old belief system. I’ve come to appreciate the importance of looking for reasons to be romantic with the person I’ll be spending many, many years with.

Valentine’s Day is our once a year reminder that it is extremely important to show our partner a little bit of romance; especially since romance is a much needed balm to rub on a super busy, letting-our-relationship-coast lifestyle.

How to create the best Valentine’s Day
My definition of romance is doing things to make your partner feel special. Luckily, there are many ways you can do this. Giving gifts and fancy dinners is one great way to show your amour. My preferred way is to give the gift of your time, attention and appreciation: it is, after all, the very best foreplay for women.

Don’t know where to start? Think about who you were at the start of your relationship—when everything was sparkly, fun and the sex was amazing. The reason things were so great is you were putting your best foot forward in order to woo your beloved and, therefore, there was a lot of built-in romance. It’s a big reason people look back at that time with such fondness.

Luckily there are five easy ways for you to bring back some of that magic. It takes very little planning, and the best part is it’s absolutely free.

1. Look for reasons to laugh and smile at your partner. Laughing and smiling is an offshoot of flirting. Flirting with your partner can be incredibly sexy and make the two of you feel so very special. Simply look into your partner’s eyes and give them your best authentic smile. I warn you, smiling is contagious. They might just smile back and you’ll share a special moment.

2. Make sure to fuss over your appearance. It’s really nice to make an effort to look good, simply for your partner’s satisfaction. Go on, pluck hairs, dab fragrance, brush teeth, fix hair, put on your best underwear and dressing-up clothes. Scrubbing up will make you feel great about yourself and your partner feel special.

3. Let your partner overhear you bragging about them to someone. Do you remember when you were a little kid overhearing your parents brag about you? That special feeling doesn’t stop just because we’re adults. Why not say something nice to someone else about your partner when they are within earshot? They’ll be walking on cloud nine for a week.

4. Listen and be interested in what they are saying. Too many couples stop listening to what their partner is saying: hearing enough "verbal clips" to interject an intelligent grunt when necessary. Really listening to your partner shows that you truly care about what they have to say and makes them feel valued.

5. Initiate something different and fun. Create a shared moment that you can remember fondly for a few months to come. It doesn’t have to be elaborate, but it does mean doing something outside your regular routine. Have a carpet picnic, leave a love note, feed each other nibbles, share a special bottle of wine. It’s not so much what you do, rather that you did something that means so much.

Take time out on Valentine’s Day to give your partner the gift of you at your finest. You never know, you might have such a wonderful time you will want to create romance more than just once a year.

Dr. Trina Read has a doctorate in human sexuality. Dr. Read is also an international speaker and offers free sex tips on her website www.bestsextipsever.com. To order her book, "Til Sex Do Us Part," click here.


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