It's almost Valentine's Day. Is this a day you are looking forward to? Or dreading? In my experience, women are more triggered by Valentine's Day forgetfulness or inattention than men. So, in the spirit of averting a Valentine's Day disaster in your marriage, this tip is for the ladies!

Are you excited about showing your love and affection; and letting that special man in your life know how much he means to you? Do you find yourself worrying that your Honey might forget to plan ahead and not send you flowers, buy Godiva Chocolate or that tennis bracelet you've been hinting you really want to have?

Heads up, ladies. Valentine's Day is not the designated day of the year that your partner is tasked with proving to you that he loves you and that you are special and the center of his world.

Valentine's Day is just like every other day! It is another rich opportunity for emotionally intelligent partners to co-create the celebration that matches their love, commitment and joy of being together. If you are looking for evidence that you are special or loved, you and your relationship are in trouble!

Emotionally intelligent partners bring their energy, sentimentality and creativity to the table and together, they plan exactly how to celebrate their love of each other on Valentine's Day.

So if you want beautiful flowers in the house, put them on your list so you can have them there. If you want to receive a romantic card set up a trip to a beautiful card store that has a wide array of choices and buy each other cards together. The surprise will be reading the cards together on Valentine's Day, not getting the card.

One of the essential relationship success skills is the willingness and ability to be vulnerable and ask for what we need and want. That your man goes out on his own and buys a card or orders flowers means...that he went out and bought a card or ordered flowers.

So, this Valentine's Day sit down together and plan the way you are going to celebrate your love and your gratitude for being in each other's life. Avoid the trap of Valentine's Day. Instead, use it as one more rich opportunity to take the time to care for each other and your relationship together—in ways that are meaningful to both of you!

Dr. Jackie Black, Ph.D., is an internationally recognized relationship educator, author and coach who works with men and women who are single again, newly-married, new parents, divorced, widowed or in a committed relationship that is challenging! Dr. Jackie’s book, "Meeting Your Match: Cracking the Code to Successful Relationships" is the pre-eminent guide to "how- to" make a relationship work, and navigate the world of dating. Jackie lives in Southern California. For more information visit www.drjackieblack.com or www.askdrjackie.com.