8 Ways to Make Your Marriage Juicy! Itís time you and your spouse step outside the comfort zone and spice things up. Hereís how! BY SHERRIE CAMPBELL, PH.D.
Don't get stuck in a rut by mixing things up and keeping your marriage fresh.
“ A marriage is like a company. If you quit putting in deposits it will go bankrupt.”
It is too easy to get stuck in habituated patterns in a marriage that become rote and uninspiring. As we get too familiar with our partner we can become more like siblings, lacking desire. Fear not, there are so many ways to make your marriage juicy. You have to decide it is what you want your marriage to feel like and live it out consciously.
If you had passion for your spouse in the beginning there is no other reason than laziness if that passion goes away. Remember, familiarity breeds boredom. Step outside the comfort zone of your routine and use these eight ways to make your marriage juicy!
1. Love yourself and your individual life. Independence and a sense of purpose are sexy. So whether you engage in personal development, spiritual enrichment, working out, having a great career, you become a person that is more confident, peaceful and evolving. This makes you more unpredictable and interesting to your husband or wife. If you have no love for yourself or passion for your life, you will not offer anything new to make things juicy. There is nothing juicier than looking at your partner and finding them intriguing.
2. Connect with your dreams. Become passionate and invigorated in all the things you do. If you are going to clean the house, walk the dog or embark on a new purpose do it with a great attitude. Nurture the vision of what kind of energy you dream to have as a person and extend that out. It is amazing how a passionate person with a great attitude becomes very sexy to their spouse.
3. Flirt. Flirting opens a marriage up to fun. Send your spouse sweet and sexy text messages they are not expecting. We all love to feel that we are desired, attractive and still desirable. Newness is sexy, and flirting is a great way to make things feel new and fresh again.
4. Surprise your spouse with an unexpected gift. Do not wait around for holidays or other events to take the initiative to show thoughtfulness. Send a little gift or plan a great night... just because. It is often more meaningful to receive an unexpected surprise than to receive one that is planned and expected.
5. Show pride in your husband or wife. In marriage it is easy to freeze your partner into a fixed perception/role. Get out of that. Publicly brag about your spouse's amazing qualities. Refrain from making them the brunt of a joke. Your partner needs you to act maturely instead of like a teasing child/bully (that is not sexy). Embrace their positive qualities and let them know you fully have their back.
6. Quality time. Plan special time for the two of you. Date night should be mandatory. The kids need to see you going out, having fun, touching and laughing together. You need to focus on being a fun and engaging couple. Quality time helps you to take a moment to reconnect and remember how great your marriage really is.
7. Laugh and be light hearted. Marriages that are not juicy have a bad case of seriosity. Life, work, kids, financial pressures, restraints all have a way of taking over and engulfing the marriage. Take a break, put the stressors on the side and find the lighter side of the day to smile and laugh about. There is nothing sexier than a smile and a happy partner. Itís hard to feel juicy about a Debbie-downer. We are all capable of laughing, even in the worst of times.
8. Be sexual. This is the playground of a marriage. Be fun sexually. Fun does not mean you have to engage in sexual acrobatics, it just means have fun. Do not have sex for obligation's sake. At the end of the day sex can really only make you feel good. Get out of the rigidity that can happen, be open to having a great attitude and allow yourself to be juicy.
Your marriage is what you make it, so if you have allowed the quality of the relationship to drop, be inspired to make it better again. It is not hard to do. A marriage is like a company. If you quit putting in deposits it will go bankrupt.
Dr. Sherrie Campbell is an author and a licensed psychologist with more than 19 years of clinical training and experience. She provides practical tools to help people overcome obstacles to self-love and truly achieve an empowered life. She is a featured regularly on national online media and has a successful practice in Southern California. Get her free article on "Five Ways to Make Love the Common Ground in Your Communication." Receive free insights from Sherrie through her Facebook community. For more information visit www.sherriecampbellphd.com.