How to Avoid an App-Fueled Affair An unintended consequence of dating apps is that they allow married couples to browse the singles scene. Avoid temptation with these 3 tips. BY AUDRA CHANDLER
The best way to prevent agains new threats against your marriage is to keep it strong.
“ It’s sad to see dating apps derail cupid’s arrow, and in some cases facilitate the unfaithful.”
After working with thousands of singles over the years, having seen so many dating trends come and go, each time I think, "now I have seen everything!" However, today's boom of free dating apps adds a new layer of complexity, secrecy and unpredictability. These technology-affiliated dating tactics serve up easy access to unscreened, unverified daters looking for "love" at the swipe of a screen—yes, that means some daters may already be married.
Crazily enough, intentional or not, dating apps aren’t always helping to build long lasting relationships, but in many cases tearing down ones already established. Not only do singles have to be aware that these suitors may turn up to be an entirely different person than portrayed on their profile, but news flash, married folks need to realize that apps make it easy for their partner to dip their toe in the dating scene without ever leaving the couch.
It’s sad to see dating apps derail cupid’s arrow, and in some cases facilitate the unfaithful. These apps make cheating more accessible than ever, so it’s important to know the red flags and take the necessary steps to keep your marriage happy and healthy.
I always advise my clients that once you are in a relationship, just like anything worth while, you need to put effort and energy into it to keeping it strong. With more obstacles and distractions popping up, it is important to find ways to keep your marriage healthy, especially with new tools working against it.
1. Communicate. General rule of thumb: trust your gut. If something doesn’t feel right, talk about it. You shouldn’t be worried to have an open, honest discussion with your significant other. Just be sure not to make accusations or come looking for a fight. Initiate the conversation by discussing how you are feeling. Voice your concerns and discuss ways to settle fears. If you have a solid foundation of trust and understanding, it should be easy.
2. Never stop dating each other. No matter how long you have been together, you have to make a conscious effort to keep the flame alive. You can’t stop dating one another because you are married—you need to keep finding new interests, express interest in each other’s lives and pay attention to the changes in your relationship.
3. Keep them guessing. Several clients that come to us after divorce say something to the effect of, "we just got into this routine." Routines can be good and offer a level of comfort and stability, but every once in a while you need to change it up and add something to spice it up. Whether you choose a fun new restaurant or place to go for a date night or add something new to the bedroom, keeping things exciting will keep you and your spouse engaged with one another and add an extra spark to your relationship.
Love shouldn’t be a battle, but it should be something you’re ready to fight for. Build these three tips into your marriage and you won’t lose the war to an app-fueled affair.
Audra Chandler is a Matchmaker and Native Houstonian with It’s Just Lunch Houston. After joining the company 14 years ago, Audra is today credited for hundreds of successful relationships and marriages. Her outgoing personality and relatability has led to her impressive success with IJL Houston.