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Night TerrorsSleep doesn’t always come easy, even in the comfort of your man’s arms.
April Johnson
April Johnson tries to find some quiet between two pillows. |
The warmth and calm I feel each night as I curl up next to my husband, ready to slip into another night’s slumber, is at direct odds with what unfolds a mere 15 minutes later. See, I am the type who needs time to fall asleep—usually rehashing the day’s events and planning the next one. Tony seems to drift off in an instant, and I listen with envy to his labored breaths as they deepen in a steady rhythm. What happens next tests my patience and sanity on an almost nightly basis.
A report from the National Sleep Foundation reveals that 75 percent of adults frequently either wake in the night or snore. With more than half of American woman claiming a good night’s sleep a few nights per week or less, and 67 percent frequently experiencing a sleep problem, I think many women will feel me on this one when I say our 40 winks are often robbed by the snore monster you’re cuddling with.
Frequently, when we climb into bed, we’ll start out spooning, but Tony quickly slips into his deep sleep and the torment begins. His heavy breaths fill my ears, and the vibrations intensify with each breath that follows. Since I like to sleep on my back anyways, I always untangle myself from him to allow myself some breathing room. But inevitably, the heavy breaths turn into cavernous, undulating rumblings a few inches won’t adequately improve. Frustration sets in, and I begin the poke and prod portion of the evening.
What starts as gentle nudges to Tony’s shoulder quickly escalates to sharp pokes. I’ve heard snoring subsides when one is on their side, but Tony is pretty automatic when I shove him. To him, it means "assume the position." Sometimes he’s quiet, other times he’ll whisper, "Why are you waking me up? You’re so mean," but he’ll dutifully turn his back to me. The snoring subsides, and I feel victorious, but it’s fleeting.
The snoring returns minutes later, but my need for sleep drives me to impatience and unpleasantness, so I up my game from pokes to kicks and prods. I’m not proud of it; it’s at odds with the special gift of sleeping with someone you love. But when you’ve got less than six hours before your day resets to the daily grind, hey… desperate times calls for desperate measures.
I’ve tried earplugs, and they brought me temporary solace, but my sore ears and inability to hear my alarm clock go off in the morning don’t make me a fan. Plus, much like the unexplainable whine of a mosquito that sounds like it’s right inside your ear no matter how tightly you wrap the pillow around your head, the snores still crept into my ears and inside my head. I think those breathing strips might be the next step. I’ve come to realize that my previously youthful presumption that nightmares don’t occur with someone sleeping next to you was dead wrong.
A recent New York Times article finds that more married couples are sleeping alone in search of their own comfort, often due to a restless sleeper or snoring spouse. Builders are seeing custom homes routinely adding separate sleeping quarters to address these problems. I know of couples that do resort to one person moving to the couch or other room, but Tony and I are too stubborn to be the one who has to move. Also, we really do love lying next to each other and feeling that brief connection, especially when the rest of the day we’re living our own lives. And the nights when passion glides body and mind into an easy slumber make it well worth it. As long as we’re not too tired from last night’s snorefest to enjoy it.
A report from the National Sleep Foundation reveals that 75 percent of adults frequently either wake in the night or snore. With more than half of American woman claiming a good night’s sleep a few nights per week or less, and 67 percent frequently experiencing a sleep problem, I think many women will feel me on this one when I say our 40 winks are often robbed by the snore monster you’re cuddling with.
Frequently, when we climb into bed, we’ll start out spooning, but Tony quickly slips into his deep sleep and the torment begins. His heavy breaths fill my ears, and the vibrations intensify with each breath that follows. Since I like to sleep on my back anyways, I always untangle myself from him to allow myself some breathing room. But inevitably, the heavy breaths turn into cavernous, undulating rumblings a few inches won’t adequately improve. Frustration sets in, and I begin the poke and prod portion of the evening.
What starts as gentle nudges to Tony’s shoulder quickly escalates to sharp pokes. I’ve heard snoring subsides when one is on their side, but Tony is pretty automatic when I shove him. To him, it means "assume the position." Sometimes he’s quiet, other times he’ll whisper, "Why are you waking me up? You’re so mean," but he’ll dutifully turn his back to me. The snoring subsides, and I feel victorious, but it’s fleeting.
The snoring returns minutes later, but my need for sleep drives me to impatience and unpleasantness, so I up my game from pokes to kicks and prods. I’m not proud of it; it’s at odds with the special gift of sleeping with someone you love. But when you’ve got less than six hours before your day resets to the daily grind, hey… desperate times calls for desperate measures.
I’ve tried earplugs, and they brought me temporary solace, but my sore ears and inability to hear my alarm clock go off in the morning don’t make me a fan. Plus, much like the unexplainable whine of a mosquito that sounds like it’s right inside your ear no matter how tightly you wrap the pillow around your head, the snores still crept into my ears and inside my head. I think those breathing strips might be the next step. I’ve come to realize that my previously youthful presumption that nightmares don’t occur with someone sleeping next to you was dead wrong.
A recent New York Times article finds that more married couples are sleeping alone in search of their own comfort, often due to a restless sleeper or snoring spouse. Builders are seeing custom homes routinely adding separate sleeping quarters to address these problems. I know of couples that do resort to one person moving to the couch or other room, but Tony and I are too stubborn to be the one who has to move. Also, we really do love lying next to each other and feeling that brief connection, especially when the rest of the day we’re living our own lives. And the nights when passion glides body and mind into an easy slumber make it well worth it. As long as we’re not too tired from last night’s snorefest to enjoy it.
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