4 Tips to Be a Better Husband in the New Year Putting the romance back into a relationship is not rocket science, but it does take effort. Here are four places to place that effort. BY DREXEL GILBERT
Putting in some focused effort can make big improvements to your marriage.
“ While a lot of talking goes on in relationships, itís often about the kids, bills, chores, careers or car repairs. Make a conscious effort to have more meaningful conversations.”
The romance doesnít drain out of a marriage overnight. Itís a slow trickle over time.
Counselors will tell you that the leaks in a marriage or love relationship are a hazard of daily life. Careers, children, bills and a variety of daily responsibilities add to the problem, one drip at a time.
Donít fretÖ because there is still hope. Men who havenít given as much attention to the relationship as they should can reignite the romance through simple and inexpensive actions.
You donít have to plan a European getaway to let your wife know how special she is to you. Instead, use these tips below to make your relationship a top priority.
1. Give her flowers every day for a month. Women love to receive flowers even if some of them insist they donít. It neednít always be a bouquet. It can be a single flower. It can be a flower picked from your own garden. In a pinch, it can even be a daisy you draw on a piece of paper and leave with a sweet note on the kitchen counter.
2. Sit beside her. If youíre sitting in an easy chair while your wife is on the sofa itís time to make a move. Sit beside her as you watch television, entertain guests, read, talk or listen to music. A psychologist once told me that a coupleís physical distance implies the level of their emotional distance. He also said that couples who routinely sit beside each other are likely to be more affectionate in their relationship.
3. Talk to her. This one is exceptionally easy or at least should be in theory. In reality, while a lot of talking goes on in relationships, itís often about the kids, bills, chores, careers or car repairs. Make a conscious effort to have more meaningful conversations. Watch a movie together and talk about why you did or didnít like it. After church, talk about the sermon and how it might apply to your lives. As you drive down the road, turn off the radio and ask her opinion about something thatís important to you. And the second part of that is really listen to what she has to say.
4. Be a gentleman. Somewhere along the way in the struggle for equality and the battle for respect in the workplace, we forgot that itís still all right for men to be courteous to women. Open the car door for her. Hold her chair at the restaurant. Stand up when she goes to the ladiesí room and stand up again when she comes back. Hold the umbrella over her head even if it means you get wet.
Drexel Gilbert, author of "30 Days to Better Love: A Guide for Men", has more than 30 years of experience working as a journalist, TV news anchor, newsroom manager and public speaker. She also is author of five childrenís books. She and her husband, Wesley, live in Pensacola, Fla.