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Seeing the Amazing Qualities In Your PartnerWhen you've been with someone for a long time it can sometimes be difficult to see all the amazing things they do regularly.
Eduardo Dutra
Don't let time dull the shine of your relationship.
“ Give your partner the gift of a more mindful relationship by seeing and acknowledging what is marvelous about them.”
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When you’re in a committed relationship, "all the little things” can take on a larger significance—the good and the bad. For example, little annoyances can seem like a bigger deal (or deal breaker!) when you experience them day in and day out. On the other hand, small sweet gestures like flowers or a handwritten love note can really warm our hearts.
The real question for couples who are committed to maintaining a loving life together is: "How can we appreciate each other more?" Fortunately, the practice of mindfulness offers us a unique way forward together.
Mindful Relationships: Being Amazed
Give your partner the gift of a more mindful relationship by seeing and acknowledging what is marvelous about them. Try this:
Write down as many things as you can think of that you are grateful for about your partner: Take a few minutes to turn your mindful attention to all that is amazing about your partner. Here are some prompts to get you started.
Think back to when you first fell in love. What have you always loved about your partner?
What about them makes you smile most?
What do you admire most about your partner?
What characteristic of their personality or way of being is most endearing to you?
Recall one of your most meaningful times together. What did your partner do or say that was so impactful, and what does that reveal about the core of who they are?
What is one thing your partner does that is loving, helpful, or kind when times are tough?
Share these mindful insights with your partner: Whether you speak them or write them in a card or letter, let your partner know that you see the "amazingness" in them. Set aside time for this. Create a meaningful, romantic moment to tell your partner how you feel and show how much you appreciate them.
BONUS: Use this practice throughout the year to renew your love and appreciation for each other! You can also use quiet time to yourself to send Loving Kindness to your partner and the relationship. Loving Kindness meditation.
One of the most beautiful things about this mindful relationship practice is that the more you engage in seeing the remarkable characteristics in your partner, the more you will feel inspired by your relationship. There’s no doubt that relationships take work and—let’s face it—life is just excruciatingly hard sometimes! That said, being in a committed relationship can become a major bedrock through life’s toughest moments if we nurture it and help it to thrive.
So take this practice and try it at home. Allow yourself the opportunity to become mindful on a daily basis of what is incredible and amazing about your partner and your relationship. Practicing this relationship mindfulness in moments when you don’t need it will help you call on it as a helpful tool when harder moments arise. The more you practice being awed by each other, the less weight those annoying "little things" will have and the more magnificent the sweet and loving "little things" will become.
Mindfulness expert and author Julie Potiker is an attorney who began her serious study and investigation of mindfulness after graduating from the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction program at the University of California, San Diego. She went on to become trained to teach Mindful Self-Compassion, and completed the Positive Neuroplasticity Training Professional Course with Rick Hanson. Now, she shares these and other mindfulness techniques with the world through her Mindful Methods for Life trainings and her new book: “Life Falls Apart, but You Don’t Have To: Mindful Methods for Staying Calm In the Midst of Chaos.” For more information, visit www.MindfulMethodsForLife.com.
The real question for couples who are committed to maintaining a loving life together is: "How can we appreciate each other more?" Fortunately, the practice of mindfulness offers us a unique way forward together.
Mindful Relationships: Being Amazed
Give your partner the gift of a more mindful relationship by seeing and acknowledging what is marvelous about them. Try this:
Write down as many things as you can think of that you are grateful for about your partner: Take a few minutes to turn your mindful attention to all that is amazing about your partner. Here are some prompts to get you started.
Think back to when you first fell in love. What have you always loved about your partner?
What about them makes you smile most?
What do you admire most about your partner?
What characteristic of their personality or way of being is most endearing to you?
Recall one of your most meaningful times together. What did your partner do or say that was so impactful, and what does that reveal about the core of who they are?
What is one thing your partner does that is loving, helpful, or kind when times are tough?
Share these mindful insights with your partner: Whether you speak them or write them in a card or letter, let your partner know that you see the "amazingness" in them. Set aside time for this. Create a meaningful, romantic moment to tell your partner how you feel and show how much you appreciate them.
BONUS: Use this practice throughout the year to renew your love and appreciation for each other! You can also use quiet time to yourself to send Loving Kindness to your partner and the relationship. Loving Kindness meditation.
One of the most beautiful things about this mindful relationship practice is that the more you engage in seeing the remarkable characteristics in your partner, the more you will feel inspired by your relationship. There’s no doubt that relationships take work and—let’s face it—life is just excruciatingly hard sometimes! That said, being in a committed relationship can become a major bedrock through life’s toughest moments if we nurture it and help it to thrive.
So take this practice and try it at home. Allow yourself the opportunity to become mindful on a daily basis of what is incredible and amazing about your partner and your relationship. Practicing this relationship mindfulness in moments when you don’t need it will help you call on it as a helpful tool when harder moments arise. The more you practice being awed by each other, the less weight those annoying "little things" will have and the more magnificent the sweet and loving "little things" will become.
Mindfulness expert and author Julie Potiker is an attorney who began her serious study and investigation of mindfulness after graduating from the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction program at the University of California, San Diego. She went on to become trained to teach Mindful Self-Compassion, and completed the Positive Neuroplasticity Training Professional Course with Rick Hanson. Now, she shares these and other mindfulness techniques with the world through her Mindful Methods for Life trainings and her new book: “Life Falls Apart, but You Don’t Have To: Mindful Methods for Staying Calm In the Midst of Chaos.” For more information, visit www.MindfulMethodsForLife.com.
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