Sneaking Sex Donít let the holidays be a burden on your sex life. Find some creative ways to make it happen anytime, anywhere. BY IAN COBURN
No matter the time, get creative and find time for sex.
A lot of people whine to me that they donít have time for sex with their spouse during the busy holiday season. This concerns them because their sex life has already become humdrummingly boring, so not having sex is going to make it even worse.
Couples site lack of time and the constant proximity of family and friends as the culprits for a lack of sex during this most festive time of the year. They couldnít be more wrong.
The culprit for lack of sex is no different during the holidays than at any other time of the year: lack of imagination. Couples get into a dull sex routine because they lack imagination. The holidays, then, should be a welcome sight for sex, not a dreaded one.
With all the family around and the bustle of the season, the holidays are a great time to give your sex life a creative surge that will spark a rekindling that often lasts until St. Patrickís Day, at which time booze can substitute for sexual creativity.
Itís not hard at all to have sex during the holidays, even if you have kids. At what other time of the year do you have so many family members around to watch your kids while you go roll in the hay? Still donít comprehend? Here are several of my best holiday sex scenarios from over the past few years:
One year while visiting mom and the rest of the family for the holidays, my spouse and I went out on Christmas Eve to do some grocery shopping. En route, we stopped at JC Pennyís, parked way in the back of the lot, around the side where the trucks deliver at the loading dock, and had sex in the car. After we bought groceries, we made the same pit stop on the return trip.
Another time, we enjoyed locking ourselves in a basement closet while mom and my nieces and nephews and siblings baked cookies and decorated upstairs. She gave me early presents in the form of oral sex.
After my wife made a large fort with her nieces and nephews, and after they all went back inside the house, we had sex in the fort. (Of course, we destroyed it afterward; the idea of kids playing in the fort after that was creepy.)
None of these things took long and being around others continually, forced us to be imaginative in finding places to have sex. The places we chose heightened the experience and kept our imaginations going, causing us to be more sexually creative for the few months following the holiday season, as well.
Donít look at the holidays as a time not to have sex. Instead, see them as a time to refresh your sex life and shift it back into a higher gear.
Ian Coburn is author of the popular book "God is a Woman: Dating Disasters," which offers dating and relationship advice via his various trials and tribulations with women as a touring standup comedian of ten years. The book has been ranked #1 in humor in Canada and is currently being translated into Russian. His weekly column Lunch is Not a Date may be found along with book excerpts and reviews at www.godisawoman.net.