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Recent infidelities in the headlines may have you thinking, "Can this happen to us?"
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To protect your marriage from infidelity, you need to become a team. |
Basically, married folk want to know how to cheat-proof their relationship. It’s not that men are beasts and sex addicts and women are desperate housewives and cougars. Or the glib answer, "You might enjoy steak, but no one wants to eat it every night." There could be other reasons that portend marital betrayal, so take heart because you can fireproof your relationship. Here’s how:
6 Effective Strategies for Common Marriage Busters:
1. Thoughts of being cheated on. If you are wondering at this very moment if he (or she) is going to cheat on you, you might be actualizing your fear whether you verbalize it or express it with your eyes and body language. Boost your attraction factor by taking back your power. Strengthen your unique identity by knowing how you differ from others. Many men and women have confessed to being attracted to highly confident people.
2. Put time and energy into your marriage. Pushing too hard and you make him or her pull away in the other direction. Stop pushing and your spouse is going to wonder, "What’s going on here? Why has the pushing stopped?" At this point your spouse could step up to the plate.
3. Show sincere interest and gratitude. If you are often criticizing and withholding your approval, this could be the death knell of your relationship. You can bet that some other lover will make him or her feel real important. They will start by laughing at your spouse’s stupid jokes. You need to start increasing his status at home, and yes, laugh at his jokes. And if you laugh at your wife’s jokes, she will be thrilled by this surprising transformation.
4. Don't let yourself go and continue to pursue your spouse. Taking him/her for granted and yourself deadens the heart because of routine, formula-stained sweats, oily uncombed hair, an unshaven face and an expanding waistline. Strut your stuff and flirt a little. See your spouse with adulterous eyes.
5. Find the time to be positive. You have an endless to-do list. You feel stressed and in a bad mood most of the time. However, bad moods and negativity are toxic. In fact, research shows that they are contagious. People, including your beloved, gravitate to positive people. Shed a thing or two from the list and transform your time together as a couple into a bigger priority. Remember you are not married to the children.
6. Be a good teammate. Sometimes a relationship suffers because two people are changing—you are not dancing in the same direction. It’s time to function like a successful team. This doesn’t mean that you should become clones or that you should pretend to like the all the same things, but rather, find the common denominator and combine your different talents to grow together instead of apart: The yin and the yang.
Debbie Mandel, MA is the author of "Addicted to Stress: A Woman's 7 Step Program to Reclaim Joy and Spontaneity in Life," a stress-management specialist, the host of the weekly Turn On Your Inner Light Show on WGBB AM1240 in New York City, produces a wellness newsletter, and has been featured on radio/ TV and print media. To learn more visit: www.turnonyourinnerlight.com.
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