Dealing With Husbands Who Forget Valentineís Day 7 ways you can repair the forgotten day without feeling unappreciated. BY MAIA BERENS
It's not the end of your marriage if your husband forgets Valentine's, but that doesn't mean you should ignore it.
“ You can even appreciate your spouse for something as mundane as taking out the garbage and picking up some milk on the way home from work.”
Some women don't care very much about Valentineís Dayóthey get so much love and attention on a frequent basis by their husband that they don't need a special day. Just like any woman, they like to be remembered but, in this case, feel so filled up that itís no big deal if he forgets or gets a last-minute card.
Many women on the other hand donít get this type of appreciation all year-round and are therefore not getting what they need, so Valentineís Day becomes there "only chance" to feel special, loved and cared about.
So in honor of Valentineís Day, here are seven ways you can feel loved, even if your husband isnít Mr. Romantic:
1. Take care of your own needs. Donít wait to be loved by your spouse. Love and care for yourself. You have many jobs and wear many hats. You keep doing and doing and doing. Regular candlelit bubble baths, time with "the girls," quiet time alone are all ways for taking care of your self-nurturing needs.
2. Remind yourself what your commitment to your marriage means to you. This is a little tricky. Should you be committed to your spouse or should you be committed to your rmarriage? If you are committed to your husband and he forgets to be the loving guy he started out as, there goes your commitment. But if you decide to be committed to the marriage, when he does forget Valentineís Day, remind yourself itís just him being human and let him off the hook.
3. Communicate openly and honestly. Itís the basis of any healthy relationship. If you donít know how to do it, find out. Donít walk around feeling unheard and resentful so that a forgotten Valentine is such a big deal.
4. Maintain connection. Donít let the busyness of life interfere with the emotional connection you have with your spouse. When life interferes, donít let too much time go by before you make an effort to re-connect. Spend quality time togetherótalking, walking, lying in bed on a rainy afternoon reading or doing crossword puzzles.
5. Express appreciation. Even for the small things. Itís hard to resist being appreciated. It makes you want to do more for the person who appreciates you so well. You can even appreciate your spouse for something as mundane as taking out the garbage and picking up some milk on the way home from work.
6. Decide whatís really important. Try stepping back and surveying the last couple of months. Has he been there for you in all the important ways? If he has and you are committed to your relationship, consider telling him that although youíre a little disappointed, you think heís still a great husband. You canít imagine how happy it will make him to be let off the hook!
7. Take responsibility. This is always the hardest thing to do. You feel a little victimy because you work hard and try to make a happy relationshipóand he goes and doesnít make the kind of event out of Valentineís Day that youíd like or he just flat out forgets. How could you have anything to do with this? Be willing to ask yourself how not if you doónot to excuse him but rather to look at the whole picture and see what your part might be, so maybe next year Valentineís Day will be different.
Happy Valentineís Day!
Maia Berens helps women overcome their blocks to their own growth. Her self-coaching, group and private coaching provides women with the safety to change their lives. For more articles, information and a totally free year of personal growth assignments visit www.allaboutlifecoaching.com .